by Christina
Carson
Those
famous last words to the question, “Is your dog friendly?” I asked them that
day as a large German shepherd left the side of its owner and walked toward me.
I was a dog lover since I was a kid. I knew not to reach for a strange dog, but I was still in that naive stage of life that had me wanting to believe in the goodwill of others or at least good sense. Both were a mistake at that moment, even though the answer came with the assurance of truth behind it, “Yes, he’s friendly. He doesn't bite.” So I lifted my hand to invite the dog to sniff it, to feel comfortable with me. For no visible reason, he closed the gap between us like a lightning bolt and sunk his teeth deep into my palm and the back of my hand. The pain, as intense as red-hot pokers driving through my hand caused me to fold up like an old cot, right in the middle, head at my knees. Rather than fighting the dog or pulling my hand away, the anguish held me there immobile and limp. Time later, I realized that saved me from graver injury. Without a struggling victim, the dog took one more chomp and then walked away as if nothing had happened.
I was a dog lover since I was a kid. I knew not to reach for a strange dog, but I was still in that naive stage of life that had me wanting to believe in the goodwill of others or at least good sense. Both were a mistake at that moment, even though the answer came with the assurance of truth behind it, “Yes, he’s friendly. He doesn't bite.” So I lifted my hand to invite the dog to sniff it, to feel comfortable with me. For no visible reason, he closed the gap between us like a lightning bolt and sunk his teeth deep into my palm and the back of my hand. The pain, as intense as red-hot pokers driving through my hand caused me to fold up like an old cot, right in the middle, head at my knees. Rather than fighting the dog or pulling my hand away, the anguish held me there immobile and limp. Time later, I realized that saved me from graver injury. Without a struggling victim, the dog took one more chomp and then walked away as if nothing had happened.
A
young man came out of nowhere and squatted beside me as I clung to my bitten hand
with my other one trying not to faint or throw up. Both he and I could see the
drops of blood hitting the concrete sidewalk and spreading into jagged-edged
circles. He asked quietly, “Can I help you to sit down?” His firm arm around my
shoulder made it safe to straighten up a bit, and I crept over to the nearest
park bench. Only then did the dog owner cease his conversation and look to see
what was going on.
“What’s
the matter with you?” He literally flung the words at me.
The young helper
answered. “Your dog just bit the hell out of her hand.”
Still
he directed his comments to me. “What did you do to my dog that had him do that?” That was far too much to answer, especially with my teeth clenched
against the pain.
“Your
dog attacked her for no apparent reason,” my new friend said. Get that dog
under control. I’m calling the cops.”
“Wait
a minute. My dog’s never bitten anyone in its life. She had to do something
that caused him to attack her. It’s her fault.” The dog was now sitting at the
man’s side displaying the epitome of good behavior.
I
wanted to defend myself. I had spent too much of my life falsely accused. But
the nausea was real and my hand felt like it was on fire.
The
park was patrolled by mounted police and as a small crowd assembled attracted
by the shouting, one came trotting across the green. From his high perch, he
could see the man and the dog with his small crowd, and me crumpled up on the
bench with my sole supporter.
He
dismounted and came to me first. The blood had now covered a noticeable area
and the officer squatted down, locked my long brown hair behind my ear so he
could see my face and said gently, “I've got an ambulance on the way. How are
you doing?”
I couldn't answer. Keeping my mouth shut felt like the only thing that was keeping me from vomiting. So I just nodded. My hand was beginning to swell. I
prayed the owner had a rabies tag on that beast and beyond that I was a study
in just hanging on.
The
only person who seemed to see what happened was the young man who helped me. He
made a point to tell the cop what he saw. I didn't know why he was being so
kind, if kindness was what it was. In that moment, a layer of innocence peeled off me like skin after a sunburn. Nothing made sense at the moment and that rattled
me.
The
cop then went to talk with the dog owner who was still insisting I was
responsible for getting bitten. I heard him say yet again, “Toby here, he’s
never bitten anyone. I think she was teasing him.”
“Teasing
him how,” the officer countered.
“I
was talking and didn't really see what was going on, but she reached her hand
out toward him. Maybe she’s nasty and he sensed it.”
The cop's mouth curved in a crooked smile as he raised his hand to stop any further conjecture on his part. Then
he asked, “Does the dog have a current rabies tag?”
“Yeah, I just don’t have it on this harness.”
“You've got 2 hours to produce it down at the station. If you don’t show with it in
that time period, we’ll impound the dog and put him down. Up to you.”
The
officer came back over to me. I had been watching his horse just stand there,
not eating the grass or stomping impatiently. I wondered how long it took to
train a horse to be that dependable. Dependable, a word that came up often in
my conversations.
“You
need to get that looked after right away; that’s why I called an ambulance,
otherwise you might sit for hours in emergency, and you need a tetanus shot
pronto and probably a few stitches.”
Finally,
I felt like I could say a few words. “Officer, I didn't tease that dog. I asked
the guy if he was friendly, and he assured me he was. I just stretched out my
hand in case he wanted to sniff it, and for whatever reason, he lunged at
me and grabbed my hand. I love dogs.”
“We'll
check him out. Our dog people will take a look. But regardless, we can’t have dogs
biting people in public places.”
I
got the name and address of the young man who helped me and thanked him. He
asked me to call and let him know how I was in a day or two. He felt
dependable. I liked that.
I
had a few stitches, but they like to keep dog bites open because they are “dirty
bites,” that’s what the nurse called them. That way they can dress them daily to insure they heal from the inside out. By weeks end, the swelling was down but a yellow-purple hue still remained. I felt like
going out and decided to call the young man, since he’d asked me to, and see if
I could treat him to supper as a thank you.
It was funny how I kept calling him that young man as if I were old enough to be his mother. I’m thirty-three. I suspect he’s mid-twenties or so. Not that much difference. Maybe it would be fun.
It was funny how I kept calling him that young man as if I were old enough to be his mother. I’m thirty-three. I suspect he’s mid-twenties or so. Not that much difference. Maybe it would be fun.
I punched
in the numbers he’d given me and listened to the ring. The voice of a young
woman answered. I asked, “Is Josh there?”
“Josh
who?”
“Josh
Maynard.”
“Wait
a sec. Josh, a woman for you,” she shouted with laughter in her voice, not that
sort that comes from something funny. It sounded more derisive.
“Hello?”
It was
his voice. “Josh, this is Maggie, the gal the dog ate.” I heard him chuckle. “Thought
you might like to know I lived through it.”
“Glad
to hear it. How does it look now?”
“It
looks more like a hand now than a paw and down to yellow in the rainbow of
colors healing uses. I don’t know if I’m out of bounds here, but I’d like to
take you for a drink or some supper as a thank you.”
“It isn't necessary, but I’d like to take a look at that hand and see if I approve
of their work.”
Now
it was my turn to laugh. “If you’re the spontaneous sort, we could meet
someplace within the hour. If you have to do more planning, tell me when.”
“I’ll
meet you at Maxi’s in an hour. That work for you, Miss Maggie?”
I
could hardly believe what I had done, and what did he mean by approve of their
work? But heh, a little mystery is always better than a time-worn plot.
Maxi’s,
the local pub, was busy that evening, so I picked a table in the quietest
corner I could find. I wasn't much of a drinker, but I knew folks there and
often stopped in for supper. The bar had a tradition of putting up pictures of
its regulars on the wall of the pub, an interesting way to make a family out of
its customers, most of whom, if they had a family, wouldn't be there. They have
a dedication night, which the patrons honored, each time a photo goes up. You
have to be in the spirit of what they've created there, you know dependable, to
make their Rogue’s Gallery. It’s a place of long term friendships, even to the
extent that if you haven’t shown up in a while, someone checks up on you. I had
never seen Josh there before, but then I wasn't on the prowl for men when I
went to Maxi’s. I was there for the camaraderie.
Just
then, the door opened letting in the soft peach of twilight, and I saw Josh. I
guess he wasn't as young as I imagined him to be in the park. I was actually glad about
that. I preferred men of more maturity than is usually found in the capriciousness
of twenty-something-year olds. I waved with my bitten hand, and he noticed. He
smiled and nodded the way a coach might acknowledge a good play on the field. I
saw the barkeeps check him out as he headed to my table. Like older brothers,
they kept an eye out for the single ladies in their establishment. When he saw
them looking, he nodded like he knew them too.
As
he pulled out his chair, his eyes went immediately to my hand.
“Well,
I guess you’re going to tell me if their work is any good.”
He
picked up my hand and inspected it, not like he was curious, but like he knew
what to look for. “What’s with your little finger?”
I wasn't sure how he even noticed it as the finger only misbehaved when I went to
make a fist, not wanting to close down. “The doctor said I have a bit of nerve
damage there. He said it will probably mend itself. Well, what do you think?”
“He
did a good enough job, utilitarian. But then the docs in trauma medicine get
like that. Hazard of the business.”
“So
what would you have done differently?” That question ended the conversation
abruptly. He mumbled, “It’ll be fine. Functionality is what’s primary.”
The
waiter came then and Josh ordered a draft of the house beer. I had mine already
so we sat in a gap of silence when the waiter turned to leave.
“The
gal who answered the phone, who is she?” It was not the next best question
especially asked into the tension that had followed my last one, but I was
struggling.
“Oh,
her, she’s my sister. I’m bunking in with her and her husband for the time.”
Again
an awkward silence prevailed.
“Josh,
I’m not about to pry, but you do need to understand I’m a writer and my mind
with or without my permission just wrote a backstory to the few sentences you've shared.”
A
smile returned to his face, tinged with a sense of relief I realized had been
missing since we first met.
“Sometimes I’m not immediately privy to what the
author part of me picks up, especially when I've just pulled my hand out of a
dog’s mouth. But like someone setting a table, each piece of needed
information, like the knives and the forks and spoons, gets laid down in a
recognizable pattern.”
“Well
Sherlock, what do you see where I’m concerned?”
“You
are obviously some sort of medical professional – doctor or paramedic. You have
an interest in things medical that exceeds the average attention of a friend.
You are not presently working in that capacity, because you act like an
outsider at the moment and because you are at your sister’s. Something has
happened that has removed you from that environment, precipitated by either you
or the establishment. How’d I do?”
“Do
you write detective stories?”
“No,
but I do read that genre a good bit.”
“So
it’s my turn now?”
I
nodded my head in response.
He
sighed audibly. Then he swallowed hard as if the whole sad affair still sat in
his craw. “It’s easier, I suppose, now that you've laid the story’s bones on
the table, for it’s the hardest thing I've ever had to own. My sister’s been
after me to tell someone, anyone so that I can get back to a starting point.
Strangely, it looks like my new dog-bite friend is it. Do you mind?”
“I
don’t mind a bit.”
“This
won’t end up in one of your stories will it?”
It
was my turn to laugh lightly. “Well if it does, it won’t have your name on it.”
“Fair
enough.” He gathered himself up one more time. “Maybe it’s better that this
happened to me early in my career. I’m a trauma doctor and I broke the cardinal
rule. I was full of myself, coupled with the fatigue a resident lives in, and I
got lax. It’s only easy to mistake an ensuing diabetic coma with drunkenness,
if you aren't paying attention at the level that job requires. And I wasn't. In fact, the less fortunate of the trauma world—the drunks, the street-weary
schizophrenics, the druggies and the basic homeless—I had already begun to
treat them as a nuisance, always there, always soon back. So I dismissed a case
as just more drunkenness, argued with the nurse even, argued meanly,
arrogantly. Later that night, she reported to me that drunk had entered a
diabetic coma and died of complications two hours later.” He took a sip of his
beer, not the sip of a drinker or one trying to avoid the truth. He sipped
reflectively and with much pain.
I
put my dog-bite hand on the one of his not wrapped around his glass. “We can
come back from these things. I’m not talking as a philosopher or ministerial
type. I’m talking from experience. You might ask what can a writer possibly do that
could approach taking a life? In my case, I didn't wield a knife to destroy someone, I broke an inviolable vow. I used her story, told to me in
trusting confidence, but when urged by my editor to make it close enough to the actual circumstances
that it might become obvious who it was about—a potential block buster—I did.
Maybe old Toby there in the park actually did know who I was, at the core
anyway. Maybe he just let me know, lady you are completely undependable, and he
acted accordingly. I stopped writing, talking to people, dating, almost living,
I was so ashamed of what I’d done, particularly because of why I’d done it.
“She
never forgave me, and I understand. I ruined her life. How can you forgive
that? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. But unlike all those
life coaches who say, ‘you can’t go on until you forgive yourself,’ I learned
to work through it, I mean, not past it but from within it, for it was the most
valuable experience of my life. Anything that allows us to know where the
rotten parts are is now a godsend to me. I don’t ever want to hurt another
living human being or dog for that matter. I don't ever want to have a reason to be ashamed of myself again.
And believe me, sometimes it takes a horrible mistake before we’ll ever admit
to our rotten spots.”
I
saw the tears begin and then spill freely down his face, so unfettered they
drop off his chin onto the table like rain. I gave him time to sit in what I
knew was a starting place. His gutsiness and honesty marked him, in my mind, as
a good man.
Neither
of us was hungry after that. Not because we felt ravaged, but quite contrarily,
we felt full. We sat and enjoyed the live jazz combo. Occasionally, one of the
regulars would casually stop by our table, clap Josh warmly on the shoulder,
wink at me and move on.
I
said a another silent thank you to Toby and was glad I insured he was not put
down and now had a new owner who understood his needs.
Sometimes we have to be one another’s fall guy, to assist each other in knowing the goodness we are capable of. Sometimes we just do.
More short stories can be found in Short Stories listed in
the right column.
Novels can be found here.
Wow! Great story.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you enjoyed it. I've started writing some short stories because my time for writing is still so limited. It's teaching me a good bit about writing as well. Thanks for reading it.
DeleteThis one held on to me until the end! Beautifully written, Christina! Wonderful storytelling!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much MK. I do appreciate your taking time to read it. I hope to come up with a few more. Always good to hear from you.
DeleteWell done, so realistic!
ReplyDeleteYou're a dear,my faithful friend and story reader. Thanks, Claude. The comments are helping me to learn more about writing. I am most appreciative.
DeleteI was totally held until the end, and the message of the story. What a powerful message to give in such a fast paced, realistic situation! We do entertain" angels unawares" all the time don't we? When we open to that Truth of truths, we indeed heal the world. Thank you, once again, Christina, for the insights of your powerful, in-depth, knowingness about us all as individuals and our impact on the world. --Merri
ReplyDeleteThank you, Merri. Messages abound in life if we're willing to seek understanding. Our interconnectedness is legend.
DeleteLove your story Christina
ReplyDeleteSheilagh, appreciate your comment. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
Delete