No book can escape various associations with an author’s
life, for what else do we have to draw upon if not life as we have experienced
it. However, that does not mean a work is autobiographical, but merely
reflective of a set of circumstances, and in my case, the desire to understand
them. The human condition owns my curiosity and most specifically, family, for
by its nurturance we can expand into life or through its neediness we can remain
fettered to our wounds and the behaviors they spawn. Family is the single most
critical factor in creating healthy children, society, and life on this
earth–or not. And yet we know so little
about how to make it work. In Suffer the
Little Children, the question I am asking is: what do we do as parents
that drive our children from us? Anne
Mueller, the protagonist, investigates that question when she says:
“I began to revisit events of the past
and realized that every wrong choice I’d made stemmed from feeling so important
that I couldn't afford to lose. It seemed the further we moved away from the
naturalness we knew as a child, the emptier we became. Our solution was to fluff
ourselves up with self-importance. It was a choice shot through with fear of
loss, so when threatened, I fought to win. It didn’t matter if the fight was
with Spook, Pete, or Samantha. The justification I offered – I just want what’s
best for you – rarely meant that. Rather it meant, I just want for you, what
frightens me the least.” from Suffer the Little Children
I like to think of Suffer
the Little Children as a story with wide appeal, as few people have
experienced family life as richly or lovingly as they have imagined it could
be. Something in most of us recognizes our family interactions as much less
than ideal. I remember watching an Oprah Winfrey program years back that
discussed child-parent relationships. There wasn't a dry eye in the house as
those in the audience shared a singular desire to have felt accepted and
respected by their parents. Then there was Ram Dass, who with the wisdom of age
suggested, “If you think you’re enlightened, go home for a weekend.”
Thus I wrote this novel and let Anne Mueller’s search for
another way to understand parenting raise some interesting questions, for don’t
ever imagine there isn't another way.
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